The 24 Personalities of Individual Tax Returns (and the Clients behind Them)

Editor’s Note: One day at the offices of Frank J. Pavlica CPA in Inverness, Ill., it dawned on the folks that tax returns, like clients, have their own personalities. So far, they’ve identified at least 24. If you have some of your own, let us know in comments.

by Elisabeth Whitlock, Jane Hamer, Susan Holberg, Marilyn Aman and Frank Pavlica, who adds, “Jane is the office manager, Elisabeth, Susan and Frank are CPAs and Marilyn is the best tax person around.”

Having prepared tax returns for a number of years, we have come to the conclusion that Individual Income Tax Returns have their own personalities as do the taxpayers that they represent.

Take for example, the tax return that has W-2 income that just won’t quit but does not have any investment income.  We call this one the (1) “Spender” because I always wonder “where the money went.”  But when you ask the question, the answer is usually “I don’t know where the money went, but if you find it, let them know.”  (I never found it.)

We have the opposite—the (2) “Savers.” They are the ones that have huge amounts of interest and/or dividend income compared to their W-2 income. They have many bank accounts and own many individual stocks.  So, they want each piece of income listed separately on the tax return instead of showing it any other way. Too bad the banks don’t give away free gifts anymore—these people would be able to fill warehouses.

Then we have the (3) “Generous”—the cash and non-cash contributions to charitable organizations that are equal to or better than the tithe.  Just wonder how much of this is true. Now that the IRS has changed the rules regarding receipts, the “Cash” contributions have gone down compared to the past.   And the (4) “Stingy,” whose income is high, but contributions are low.  I guess charity does start at home.

The (5) “Aggressive” are the ones with deductions that are so large, that it scares me just to read them.  The amount are always rounded numbers like “publications $2,900”. Amazing how this all adds up to round numbers

And the IRS’ favorite kind of taxpayer — the (6) “Timid.” Yes, those are the ones that are lucky to have claimed “exemptions” for themselves.  They should get a birthday card from the IRS every year because they never try to deduct even the most deductible expenses.  Remember the old joke—“What did you make, send it in?” That is why they are the IRS’ favorites.

Even the address on the tax return can tell you something. Sometimes the spouses live in separate states. You hope one day they can live in the same taxing jurisdiction. Then there are the complicated family structures where the identity of dependents changes from year to year (John in even years and Joey in odd years).

Then there are the (7) “Sneaky.” These are the clients who come to you with a complicated question in the middle of tax season. They know the answer they want, and ask very specific questions to lead you there. You have to pay close attention, no multi-tasking (or “multi-taxing”) when listening to these clients.

The (8) “Self-Starters” are risk takers. You usually see them with a Schedule C. These entrepreneurial taxpayers are not afraid to start out on their own. Schedule E (rental income) taxpayers have a lot in common with the Schedule Cs, but they are one step down in aggressive risk taking. They prefer to manage concrete things like buildings, rather than stocks or other financial instruments. Interestingly, you hardly ever have a taxpayer with both a Schedule E and Schedule C, unless they are a real estate professional. The real estate pros follow the old adage, “Invest in what you know.” Schedule F taxpayers, the gentlemen farmers, are even more risk averse.

Some taxpayers take a more laid back (“passive”) approach to investing, preferring to let others do the work. You can tell these taxpayers by their passive income K-1s. A subspecies is the taxpayer with multiple K-1s from non-publicly traded partnerships. These are usually investment partnerships bought through a “friend”. These taxpayers have a taste for exotic investments.

Then we have the (9) “Ex-Factor” taxpayers—either payers or receivers of alimony. Sometimes you think of the recipient as receiving a benefit from her or his term of service with the ex. On the other hand is the divorced taxpayer who is not paying alimony. You wonder what he gave up in the settlement – probably a lot.

Also on page 2 of Schedule E are the (10) “Trust Fun Babies” with a “simple” trust that keeps feeding them but they never grow up. (Who wants to?)

Then we have the (11)  “Double Dippers.” These are taxpayers taking a pension while still drawing a salary. However, if the taxpayer’s retirement distribution is accompanied with the 10% penalty tax, they have a different issue.

You also have the (12) “Credit Seekers” who use every tax credit that they can qualify for. These are taxpayers who have positioned themselves during the year for a nice credit, either through an energy-efficient vehicle or home improvements.

Taxpayers also have their own habits of dealing with their tax information. There is the (13) “Dribbler,” who sends in his information piecemeal. You may receive 20 different submissions from him. It’s hard to know if he’s better or worse than the (14) “Holder,” the client who doesn’t give you anything until April 14 because he had to wait for that last K-1 to complete his packet of tax information.

Then there is the (15) “Blender,” who sends you tax information spanning several years. Not only do you have to cull the documents to find the current years’, but sometimes you find a document from a prior year that you have not seen before, forcing you to amend that prior year.

The (16) “Confused” is the taxpayer who lets his broker handle all his investments. This taxpayer has no clue about his financial situation. He doesn’t know how many brokerage accounts he has or what transactions have been made throughout the year. An even more extreme type is the client who doesn’t know his own occupation or whether he had any income or expenses on his Schedule C. The most extreme example of the “Confused” taxpayer I have ever encountered is the client who filed under incorrect social security numbers for both himself and his spouse for over 25 years. But perhaps the IRS was really the confused one here, because they accepted the returns!

The (17) “Meticulous” is a client who provides every medical and prescription receipt. Or how about the (18) “Overkiller” who gives you every single receipt from the tax year and expects you to decide what is deductible.

The (19) “Lazy” is the client who doesn’t provide all his information, but expects me to find it out for him. He wishes I would contact his mortgagor, his real estate tax assessor, his employer, and his broker, for, respectively, his Forms 1098, real estate taxes, W-2, and 1099s. Then there are the clients who are not so much lazy as unreasonable, such as the teacher who claimed unreimbursed business expenses that were much higher than last year’s, but provides receipts for only half that amount.

The (20) “One-Timer” is the client with an otherwise straightforward return with one unusual item, such as a railroad pension, requiring hours of research.

The (21) “Parent” is a taxpayer who wants you to do his grown children’s returns but can’t get the W-2s for you, or is unsure what states their children worked in.

The (22) “Professional” is an accountant who doesn’t want to do his own tax return. Watch out! They will often try to get you to do something they wouldn’t do themselves. I am reminded of a client who paid $50 at a charitable auction for an item that was worth $200 and wanted me to deduct $200.

Interesting, and thankfully rare, is the (23) “I Never Asked” client. He is the one who files MFJ for the first time and doesn’t know his spouse’s legal name. Another kind of relationship problem was indicated by the unmarried couple who bought a house together. One client wanted to claim 100% of the First Time Homebuyer Credit on his return without telling his partner – not a great start to the relationship.

The (24) “Rusher” is the client who brings in his information late and then tells you, as an aside, that he needs the return completed ASAP for FASFA.

Some clients are beyond aggressive – they are living in a fantasy land, such as the client who wanted me to deduct her dog’s veterinarian bills.

Some clients just have a harsh manner. They are so irritating when they drop off their information that you want to code the file with a J, A or D (jerk, a******, or d***).

Some clients surprise you. You wonder how a little old lady ended up with 6 rental properties.

We’re sure you have your own nicknames for some of the returns that you prepare.  Let us know what they are in comments.

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Posted at July 29, 2010
Filed Under BSG [CPA TRENDLINES] | 45 Comments

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45 Responses to “The 24 Personalities of Individual Tax Returns (and the Clients behind Them)”

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  2. Joe Janas on July 30th, 2010 9:43 am

    Frank:

    Good stuff – I enjoyed the article.

    How about the “Feminista” – that’s the wife who wants her name listed first on the tax return – even though the fed records list the husband first! – listing the wife first can lead to a “failure to file” inquiry.

    How about the “Covert Couple” – that’s the joint return where each one only gets to see the signature page 2 – that’s so neither one gets to see what the other one earns – I never have figured that one out.

  3. Leigh Mutert on July 30th, 2010 1:46 pm

    My favorite was *shifty shopper* who changed firms every year. When I questioned his accounting for rental properties his response was, “The accountant last year let me do that.”

    I suggested that he return to the prior year professional…

  4. Terri on August 4th, 2010 12:43 pm

    I like the ” Organized My Way” They are people who insist they have highly organized all the material for the tax return and you should have no problems or questions when you do about an hours worth of work. One such TP gave me her work pinned together with diaper pins, the ones with little ducks on the end. So I asked, did you have a baby this year? The answer was no, leading me to look at her occupation…yep LCSW !

  5. Rita on August 4th, 2010 1:49 pm

    Love it! I’ve had them all–thankfully not all in the same year.

  6. Chris Kuhns on August 4th, 2010 4:01 pm

    I swear he works in our office!!!!

  7. Paula on August 4th, 2010 4:15 pm

    There is the “adventure in tedium” tax return. Client was a retired aeronautical engineer that not only filled out the organizer, but created my workpapers with backup copies to boot, all neatly cross referenced. Did I mention he also did his return to see how close we would be. Finally, as if this wasn’t enough, he insisted on meeting with me every year so we could methodically go through the materials, line by line and wasn’t content unless we had discussed each item. By the end of the annual meeting I was ready to jump out of my skin from the tedium and wanted so badly to grab him and say “I know all this …just leave it! I can really do the return without help !”

  8. John Wyatt on August 4th, 2010 5:45 pm

    Good response, this client will also give you all of her\his back up material with three partial lists of information (all different) and wonder why it took you so long to work through the stuff. I bet the ducks were “cute” – (real situation)No new baby but the oldest child got married two years ago.

  9. John on August 4th, 2010 6:28 pm

    Don’t forget the “deny-er,” The one who denies/forgets that they have to file a return until they get a letter from the IRS.

  10. David Lanter on August 4th, 2010 6:32 pm

    I have one — “The Article Collector.” Nothing irritates me more than a client who brings in a bunch of articles he clipped out wondering if I knew about the changes in the tax law. I mean, if he thinks I don’t, why is he here? I once stopped one of these fools by billing him $500 for two hours time for “reviewing tax articles.” Of course, I ended up taking it off the bill, but he got the idea and didn’t do it again.

  11. Daniel Stoica on August 4th, 2010 11:03 pm

    I Love This!

    Bound to become a Classic!

    Thank You!

  12. jody padar on August 5th, 2010 1:00 am

    Everyone always talks about the shoebox of receipts…but I love a Ziploc bag. I guess they are concerned about a flood.
    Also, what about the client who comes on the same date every year. And you forgot my favorite client…..the one who brings treats..especially grandma Pat homemade chocolate chip cookies! Nothing taught in accounting class prepares you for the personal relationship of a tax client.

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  14. jan on August 5th, 2010 10:02 pm

    I once had the “Tester” who wrote in $150,000 medical deduction for a p***s transplant on a Schedule A form. He wanted to see if we really read what he gave us.

  15. Brooke on August 10th, 2010 8:42 am

    This is absolutely great and may even make it to the wall in my office!

  16. s j howell on August 11th, 2010 7:18 pm

    Let’s not forget the “BROTHER-IN-LAW ADVISE”

  17. s j howell on August 11th, 2010 7:22 pm

    I cannot tell you how many clients come through the door demanding that I deduct this or that under the premise that their brother-in-law told them that it was tax deductible.

    Now let me see–if I want a Circular 230 violation, an ethics violation, a client with an IRS audit–sure I could put that deduction on someone’s return.

    I feel like telling them that when their brother-in-law gets a CPA rag hanging on the wall, then the client or this brother-in-law can start telling me what is or what is not deductible.

    If they persist, I recommend that they have their brother-in-law do their return.

    C Ya!

  18. Ron Taryle on August 11th, 2010 7:37 pm

    Over the years I’ve had a few “gotcha” clients. They intentionlly make a subtle error or omission in the information they provide to see if I will find it. They pray that I won’t.

  19. Christine on August 11th, 2010 7:47 pm

    This article was hilarious! Have to say that I disagree with the misogynist “Feminista” poster that says you shouldn’t list the wife first on the return. I never thought it was an issue at all– honestly, who cares? But at least 5 other male accountants have said this to me (all over 50), and it’s complete bull. I’ve been doing this on my own tax returns with my husband for a decade and never had a failure to file inquiry. Never thought it was a big deal, either way.

  20. Nyle on August 11th, 2010 8:39 pm

    How about the “when was the deadline?” client. No explanation needed.

  21. Al Sperske on August 12th, 2010 12:32 am

    I would like to forget the one who did his return for several years but had a problem. The depreciation he used was not proper, changes to tax law in returns had been ignored and the returns were just wrong. After you corrected what you could and spent extra time he said thank you and next year said that he was doing it again. A few years later he wanted to do same again but I declined.

  22. Jane Miller on August 12th, 2010 9:04 am

    I think this is very tacky. These people are your CUSTOMERS!!!! Without them, you’d be nothing. Wake up and be thankful you have their business. You are in charge; if you don’t like it, and can afford to, drop them as clients and quit whining! If you can’t afford to drop them, shut up and be thankful you’ve got them.

  23. Diantie on August 12th, 2010 12:26 pm

    I love these postings. I got a big box of papers (none tax related) together with chicken bones wrapped in aluminum foil.

  24. Ruth Collins on August 12th, 2010 12:31 pm

    My personal favorite is the “thank you for being so patient client” who gives the info for a corporate tax return (I’ve been asking for since January) with a couple of days left to go. They have every confidence they are your only client and are alarmed when you suggest you may not get it done by the deadline.

  25. J Sredl on August 12th, 2010 2:50 pm

    I turn it around and always write funny questions on the organizer to see if the clients really read it. For example “Do you want fries with this? or “Are you interested in starring in a reality TV show featuring Tax Accountants?”

    naturally all are followed with the ubiquitous Yes or No

    Love it!

  26. Roy Alexander on August 12th, 2010 4:15 pm

    The “Retiree”.
    The return consist of Forms 1099-R, SSA-1099,
    and Schedule B, Interest and Dividends(multiple accounts). Note: I have very little income; typically in the 28%+ marginal tax bracket.
    Lots and lots of medical expenses; always less than 7.5% of AGI.

  27. Robert on August 13th, 2010 10:22 am

    What about the three year filers, who only decide to file 3 years worth of returns in the current year every 3 years.

  28. Ray Zaniewski CPA on August 13th, 2010 10:24 am

    How about what about what I call “the CPA exam return.” … It’s a complicated return that has virtually every issue under the sun.

  29. Stuart Blum, CPA on August 13th, 2010 10:30 am

    Your personality descriptions were perfect. I was moaning with laughter when I read about the dribbler. You did forget about the “EZ” tax return. “Oh, my tax return is very EZ” this year. My response is if it’s that easy, why aren’t you doing it yourself? And of course there’s the procrastinator…who has you drop everything to get their work done on April 14th, but conveniently forgets to bring a check for the professional fee and delays payment for 120 days…

  30. R Walker on August 13th, 2010 10:30 am

    I think I have seen every one of these and usually in the same year. One year I received a bunch of receipts that had rusty paper clips on them and smelled funny. After handling the stuff, I then saw the note that said, “Pardon kitty’s accident.” The tax manager got to hear my wrath on that one! That’s part of the reason I left public accounting and went to work in private accounting for a #8. Someone else prepares the tax returns and he deals with many of these personalties.

  31. Just John on August 13th, 2010 11:00 am

    The “Flirt”
    We would have young women come in with low cut tops hoping for more favorable treatment. After one young women in a small top and short shorts left, our receptionist asked if I had seen her “previous address”.

  32. Chad Cowan on August 13th, 2010 11:49 am

    The #23 example reminded me of a situation with two clients that had just been married but were filing single for the previous years returns. We took the First Time Homebuyer Credit on one return thinking that the clients probably shared bank accounts. The spouse came in on April 15th to pick up their returns at 3:30 and was not happy that she owed even though they were getting 8,000 back! They demanded that we split the credit that day. We in our fatiqued wisdom refused, and as the couple was leaving the man broke the glass of our front door by kicking it.

  33. Bill McGovern on August 13th, 2010 1:59 pm

    Don’t you have any twofers? You know, they come in every two years and get both years done at once. I guess it saves them half the anxiety of getting tax returns done. Anyway, they always seem pretty relaxed about it.

  34. Service THIS! on August 13th, 2010 4:48 pm

    Can we email this article to our clients?

    Some DESERVE to read this!!!

  35. Service THIS! on August 13th, 2010 4:56 pm

    @Jane Miller

    YOU should STFU!

    People like you who accept ALL the BS make this professional MUCH harder than it should be!

    Instead of kissing the clients’ Arses ALL the time, you should keep in mind that people pay us for tax return advice and tax service but NOT to be their punching bag or to be their psychiatrist!

    We, as tax professionals, should NOT accept their verbal abuse!

    If YOU are DESPERATE for money, then so be it!
    YOU keep your clients and let them abuse you for money years!

    Heaven help any of your staff for ALSO putting up with YOU!!

  36. Trash on August 13th, 2010 5:04 pm

    3fers or 5fers or ….
    Client comes in every few years to do their returns.

    They learned the hard way that refunds due have a statute of limitations of 3 years so they now come in every 2-3 years so they get their refund back or else the government keeps it.

    Then you don’t see them again for the next 2-3 years!

    Worse… they expect you to remember them AND file an extension on their behalf ANNUALLY!

    We stopped filing extensions for people like them because, technically, as tax professionals, we’re not suppose to and will tell them so!!

  37. Trash on August 13th, 2010 5:05 pm

    Guess the moderators ARE editing comments!

    Whoops… this one will be removed soon!

  38. Real on August 13th, 2010 5:08 pm

    Unfortunately, the tax prep business is … the service business just like the retail business where customer service is key!

    We all have to take lots of B*llsh*t from clients!

    Luckily, some of us don’t have to put up with it and can let clients go!

    So we lose some money but we get our sanity back along with our humanity!

  39. TaxGuru on August 13th, 2010 5:15 pm

    People who come in every 2-3 years ONLY because they know that they usually get refunds!

    They found out that refunds are good for every 3 years or else the government keeps it!

    Then you don’t see them again until the next 3 years cycle!

    Worse things are they expect you to file extensions for them and to remember them!

  40. SaraHe on August 16th, 2010 10:52 am

    The “Duplicator,” similar to the “Overkiller.” This person provides you with every receipt for every charitable contribution for the year. Plus the flyer they received for the fundraiser with the amount of the contribution, plus the letter the charitable organization sent them at the end of the year. You have to meticulously comb through their documents to be sure you’ve captured all of their information and comb through again to be sure you haven’t included anything twice.

  41. SJones on August 16th, 2010 11:00 am

    I particularly love the “Sticky Fingers Client”

    This is the one that sits across from you and hands you one form at a time since they know better than you what order it should be inputted in… and they tell you what each form is as they hand it to you! “This is my interest statement, this is my W-2, this is my mortgage statement” (by the 4th form you feel like saying thanks, I’ve never seen one of these before!..depending on how early in the season it is ..February I usually patiently nod and accept each one…by April I politely say “please just hand them all to me and I will organize”. They mean well…..

  42. Jane Miller on August 17th, 2010 10:58 am

    I expected at least one person would be upset in that I don’t see the humor in kicking around your customers in writing on a professional society website.

    How would you like to see your physician profiling you as one of his problem patients?

    This kind of talk is certainly ok over a few beers or lunch, in private, but not on a professional society website.

    And as to being desperate for money, I left that situation 24 years ago when I quit the sweat shop called public accounting.

  43. Rick on August 17th, 2010 12:35 pm

    Jane, thanks for the comment. You make a good point and you make it well. One correction: CPA Trendlines is independent and not affiliated with any state society, institute or organization of any kind, except the publisher — Bay Street Group LLC. We’re happy to be a forum for the profession, as well as a source of information and analysis, and, sometimes, just plain fun.

  44. Monica on August 17th, 2010 1:50 pm

    First, about the comments. This type of forum allows us to see that many of the issues we have with clients are normal. Sharing helps us relieve tension and gives us a few good laughs, and is not to be taken so seriously. We love our clients and even those who are not so easy to deal with all receive the same good service and attention. At the end of every tax season we share our “best” and “worst” stories and we all learn from it.

    One of our return nicknames is “The Forever Return”. That is the return that you keep finding more and more bits of information that the client feeds you little by little, or you find more and more adjustments that have to be made in their books and figures. It virtually takes you weeks, sometimes all tax season to finally finish this one return. Or the

  45. Anonymous on August 18th, 2010 4:59 pm

    There are two ways to handle these tax clients

    1. The new policy this year is you must leave a $1,000.00 retainer and I will refund any excess over the true fee

    2. Here is a copy of Page 2 of the yellow pages. Enjoy your time on the telephone

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