Fun, funny and sometimes just pitiful.
Here are some of the funniest (sometimes saddest) answers. Enjoy! Then feel free to add yours either in the Comments below or at the CPA Trendlines Linkedin group.
Iris Rosken: And my favorite email from a client yesterday…. “What am I supposed to sign these forms with?” Hmmmm let me think about that one. A pen.
Brad Robertson: How much can a bank deposit before it’s considered as income?
Steve Abrew: “Can you just use the same numbers for my rental as last year”?
Tammie Hoedeman: ‘See if the tax accountant can provide a ‘revised w-2’ for me. I’m trying to re-fi my home and would like it if the w-2 showed that I made ‘less’ money than what is stated. Can the tax accountant re-vise this for me?”
Lucinda Lintz: Monthly massages are a medical expense due to all of the stress I have owning a business.
R. Darren Sanford, CPA: “What number do I put to get the most earned income credit?”
Lee Mize CPA: One of my clients bought a lake house in Alabama. He wanted to change his residence to Alabama so he didn’t have to pay Federal income tax?!?!? His AGI is over $1mil, so he didn’t just fall off a turnip truck. I had to inform him Alabama was still part of the US. He was disapointed……
Stuart Rosenbaum: What is the amount I’m allowed to deduct for contributions, so that I don’t get audited
Jean Clappe-Mixel: Thanks for the comic relief! Ran into an acquaintance (medical provider) yesterday. She receives a 1099misc each year. She told me that last year her accountant gave her 4 estimated tax coupons (for 2011) and wondered if she should do anything with them when she files her taxes today? HA!! Ah, yeah…they are used to PAY your estimated taxes…a little late are we???? By the sound of her income, she’ll owe about $4,000.
Rhonda Nydegger, CPA: What do you mean I can’t deduct all my personal grocery bills?
Jeffrey Willis: A married couple asked if they could file separately and one spouse take all the deductions! One wife asked if she could be added as an additional dependent to her husband as she has to take care of him full time!
Jeff Heller: Actually I don’t find so many all that weird. But one of my favorites, which I’m sure we all have heard a zillion times one way or another, always in complete seriousness: “I don’t have to file this year. I don’t have any income.” When questioned about their job and even the W-2 & 1099s, etc… “No, I spent all that…there is nothing left I have to pay tax on”.
Robin Sherlock: A message pulled off phone yesterday: “Can I come by tomorrow to get my taxes done by the deadline? I don’t want to have to pay penalties!” Take a number!
Oxana Korobina: Can I claim the water I drink while working?
Vallery Lee: “It wont take you long, I’ve sorted it all out so that it will cost less” This usually means that it will take twice as long
Lauri Paxton: I did have a guy who told me his former tax preparer told him that the IRS “allows” you 2 ghost employees a year (whatever that is supposed to mean).
Bernie Klimaj: When I ask my clients for an amount for mileage or donations, they look up at my ceiling and hope the number magically appears.
Jean Patterson: Years ago, I had a client who was getting ready to make a payment call me and say “The form says ‘cut along this line'” should I do that? I like that some won’t make a move without my advice but come on……
Robin Lotz: “You should know how many miles I drove last year. Don’t you guys just have a chart that figures mileage for a certain occupation?”
Frank J. Giambruno, CPA: Just take as much as allowed by law.
Jerry Stephens: Yes, I had one like that. Every year she brought me just enough W-2s to be near the maximum rate.
Jean Clappe-Mixell: Thanks for the comic relief! Ran into an acquaintance (medical provider) yesterday. She receives a 1099misc each year. She told me that last year her accountant gave her 4 estimated tax coupons (for 2011) and wondered if she should do anything with them when she files her taxes today? HA!! Ah, yeah…they are used to PAY your estimated taxes…a little late are we???? By the sound of her income, she’ll owe about $4,000.
Vardan Kirakosyan: All the cases are original… The funniest part is that if you ask someone who is not accountant or is not familiar with taxes, to read them… they won’t sound funny AT ALL!
5 Responses to “What’s the Most Ridiculous Thing You’ve Heard in Tax Season?”
Darren Sanford aka The Network Marketer's CPA
How much income do I have to have to get the maximum earned income credit?
Dan
A client had been selected for audit, and it appeared to be a random selection as there were no issues, and a very simple return. As I was explaining that the IRS does sometimes “randomly” select taxpayers for audit, he retorted “could we tell the IRS to go “randomly” audit someone else. When I explained the idea of “random”, he said, “could he randomly decide to not show up for the audit?”. Gotta love your clients!
David Few - Accountant
Me: “How much did you give to qualified charities last year?”
Client: “Just take the maximum.”
Me: “There is no maximum, you can deduct the amount you gave, provided you have proof.”
Client: (while looking up a the proverbial magic, all-knowing ceiling tile) “How much did I give the year before? Just use that.”
Thomas Avery Blair EA
Another and then I’ll quit.
I lost a customer that I have dealt with for over 12 years over a really curious situation.
He acquired $24,000 as one of 5 adult children who all owned the same 99 acres of Georgia pulp wood (mother died and left an undivided interest to all five of them with full legal rights of survivorship in the propery).
As it turned out he had no proof of basis in the property and its’ value went up when the pulp wood was “harvested” in 2011. It had been “green belted” for years for property tax purposes but the local tax assessor discovered that it was being re-zoned to commercial property (there is a highway right of way issue and also a new subdivision being planned just across a now-paved road from it).
I explained to him that since he could prove no basis, and that the property taxes had all been claimed by each “heir”, he could claim the sale of the pulp wood for capital gains treatment purposes provided it was never determined to be a “farm.”
He told me bluntly, “You are telling me the same thing as all the other preparers said, all except one, so my brothers, sisters and I am going to use the one who says I don’t have to claim the income because I didn’t get a 1099 statement…all five of us kids liked her really great reason not to claim it!”
By the way, his wife would not file with him, making both their social security benefits 85% taxable by filing MFS and has filed for divorce and has demanded of her lawyer that this issue be part of the public record in the divorce court so she can turn in her ex and his siblings to the IRS!
This may not be funny, but imagine how this will sound at the IRS audits? They were all five siblings crazy enough to mess with the IRS and obviously intend to throw the tax preparer under the bus if (or when) they get audited!
Thomas Avery Blair EA
May I add one more? Wife tells me with a straight face that she qualifies as Head of Household because her husband is incontinent (I think she meant incompetent) around the house! I thought she was joking with me…turns out she wasn’t…also turned out they filed married filing separately. Did I mention that her husband was there when she said this? :)