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Courtesy "The Accountant's (Bad) Joke Book." Order here

Jokes from Readers
(don't blame us! Some may be NSFW)

    Why did the accountant cross the road? Because he looked in the workpapers and that's what they did last year.

    A manager is interviewing 3 applicants for the position of accountant. The first applicant comes into the room and after all the cursory questions the manager says “I have one final question, what is 2 plus 2?” The applicant looks at him quizzically and says “4 of course”. The manager shakes his hand and says “thank you for your time we will be in touch”. The second applicant comes into the room and after all the cursory questions the manager says “I have one final question, what is 2 plus 2?” The applicant looks at him questionably and says “4 of course”. The manager shakes his hand and says “thank you for your time we will be in touch”. The third applicant comes into the room and after all the cursory questions the manager says “I have one final question, what is 2 plus 2?” The applicant gets up closes the door, draws the blinds on the windows leans over the desk and says, “what do you want it to be?” The manager says “you’re hired.” Karen Nunley

    Two accountants and an actuary go duck hunting. a duck flies over. the first accountant jumps up and shoots two feet behind it. the second accountant jumps up and shoots two feet in front of it. the actuary jumps up and shouts you got him!!

    How many attorneys does it take to properly lubricate a combine? Three if they are pretty big and you feed them in slowly.

    Why did the auditor cross the road? because that's what they did last year