David Letterman’s Top Ten Accountant Pet Peeves

10. People who judge me for sleeping with my calculator

9. Immodest clients who freely divulge their annual income

8. All the friggin’ numbers

7. If there are exemptions and deductions, why aren’t there “dedumptions”?

6. No one wants to embezzle anymore

5. People who fill out disclosure statement form 8275 instead of regulation disclosure statement form 8275R — idiots

4. Academy Award winners who don’t thank Price Waterhouse Coopers

3. People assuming we all use steroids

2. People assuming we all use steroids

1. Explaining to my wife how I got a paper cut on my ass

— Tuesday, April 8, 2014