Are You Right Where You’re Supposed to Be?

Businessman with head in handsBeing judgmental is self-destructive.

By Bill Reeb

A big step in the right direction to regain momentum occurs when you start cutting yourself some slack.

MORE: Are You Sure You’re In the Wrong Place? | How to Change the Way You Think (and Why) | Have Your Beliefs Stopped Serving You? |Don’t Use Only Your Strengths | Are You Your Biggest Obstacle? | Why Your To-Do List Isn’t Getting Done | Appreciate the Joy That Comes From Work | Covid Crisis Requires New Mindsets | 3 Early Warning Signals for Overachievers | How Overachievers Can Get ‘Unstuck’
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After you decide that you are going to make a change in your plans or objectives, it is common human behavior to beat yourself up for not arriving at that same decision earlier. On top of that, I often see people shining an intense spotlight on themselves, scrutinizing every step in their progress as they start down any new path.
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Are You Sure You’re In the Wrong Place?

Man walking boardwalk forest trail in early morningYou could be further on X, but then Y would have suffered.

By Bill Reeb

At this point in the Process, you have already identified a Desire (including a plan, tactics, timeline and expectations) and have been following that plan doing the Work. However, for you to be at this juncture, you had to kick out of the Try (Work)-Evaluate loop because you were feeling unsuccessful or unhappy about your progress or priorities. When this negative evaluation occurs, you are either starting to get stuck or you are already stuck.

MORE: How to Change the Way You Think (and Why) | Letting Go Is Not Giving Up | Your Obligation to Yourself | Work Smarter, Not Harder | Why We Risk Change | Learn to Embrace Failure | What Would Make You Happy? | Do You Have a Goal or Just a Speed? | Learn More By Letting Go
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As I have observed in my experience with clients, martial arts students and my own life, identifying a solution to get you back on track occurs by working through one of two paths. The first path is for you to consider “what you are thinking,” with the second path reflecting on “what you are doing.” As you consider the variety of techniques focused on what to let go of so that you can start regaining momentum, your action choices will come down to replanning, reprioritizing or reaffirming your Desire, or some combination of these. With this in mind, let’s consider some techniques to help you reassess what you are thinking.
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How to Change the Way You Think (and Why)

Portrait of a young pensive businesswoman in officeThe 4th of 4 steps.

By Bill Reeb

The realization that all we have to do to be different is to allow ourselves to think differently is very powerful. The great news is … it’s often not that hard, and sometimes it is downright easy, once you focus your attention on the right places.

MORE: Letting Go Is Not Giving Up | How Are You Programming Your Mind? | Have Your Beliefs Stopped Serving You? | How to Stay in the Present | Stop Ignoring Opportunities Right in Front of You | Work ‘Better,’ Not ‘Harder’ | What a Pro Knows | Don’t Let Opportunities Become Detours | What Are You Giving Priority? | Don’t Let Others Block Your Path
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Before I went through the cathartic steps of working with my mentor John to come up with this process and refining my thoughts on this topic, I would occasionally go through some multiday bouts with gloom. I don’t want to say that I would get depressed because that would be too harsh of a descriptor.
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Letting Go Is Not Giving Up

3 actions to help you get unstuck.

By Bill Reeb

While I’ve discussed “letting go” actions before, it is time to get a little better understanding of how to leverage them.

MORE: How Are You Programming Your Mind? | Have Your Beliefs Stopped Serving You? | Don’t Use Only Your Strengths | Are You Your Biggest Obstacle? | Why Your To-Do List Isn’t Getting Done | Appreciate the Joy That Comes From Work | COVID Crisis Requires New Mindsets | 3 Early Warning Signals for Overachievers | How Overachievers Can Get ‘Unstuck’
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At any point in time, when you realize you are dissatisfied with your level of success or happiness, once you have decided what to let go of that was the source of the negative emotions you are feeling, you will end up making at least one – if not two or all three – of these choices.
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How Are You Programming Your Mind?

Calm balanced businessman sitting outdoors on bench in Yoga lotus pose meditating, with office building and blue sky in backgroundMeditation is one way, but there are others.

By Bill Reeb

Your mind is the most powerful resource available to you. It is easy to think of it as a supercomputer, running your physical being: constantly compiling data, processing complex transactions, creating internally revealed reports and so on.

MORE: Have Your Beliefs Stopped Serving You? | Your Obligation to Yourself | Work Smarter, Not Harder | Why We Risk Change | Learn to Embrace Failure | What Would Make You Happy? | Do You Have a Goal or Just a Speed?
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We know through research that most of us barely tap into our brain’s full capability, so it is also not hard to get complacent and deem the brain to be some magical organ that we just hope keeps running properly. As well, it is easy for us to get comfortable interacting with our minds as if we were only data entry operators rather than the brain’s lead programmer.
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Have Your Beliefs Stopped Serving You?

Trapeze artist about to grab partner's handsYou may have to let go to get unstuck.

By Bill Reeb

If you have identified a desire, created a plan and are working your plan to your satisfaction, you are in what I refer to as the “Try (Work)-Evaluate” loop that continues until you accomplish whatever you want to achieve. As long as you recognize the early warning signals and respond to them in a timely way, you will remain unstuck, continuing to work better and achieve more.

MORE: Your Obligation to Yourself | How to Stay in the Present | Stop Ignoring Opportunities Right in Front of You | Why Your To-Do List Isn’t Getting Done | Appreciate the Joy That Comes From Work | COVID-19 Crisis Requires New Mindsets
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However, most of us are not that fortunate. We start getting stuck and rather than respond to the early warning signals, we either ignore them, hoping they will go away, or try to power through them.
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Your Obligation to Yourself

Businessman looking at calendar on tabletStart getting better, working better, right now.

By Bill Reeb

Whatever you decide you want to improve or accomplish takes effort. Relationships take effort. Your job takes effort. Having fun takes effort.

MORE: How to Stay in the Present | Don’t Use Only Your Strengths | Are You Your Biggest Obstacle? | Why Your To-Do List Isn’t Getting Done | Appreciate the Joy That Comes From Work | Covid Crisis Requires New Mindsets | 3 Early Warning Signals for Overachievers | How Overachievers Can Get ‘Unstuck’
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Know that whatever is important to you could easily start to wither away if you don’t give it the right amount of attention.
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How to Stay in the Present

business meeting of a woman and two menThis goes for both your business and personal lives.

By Bill Reeb

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming and realized a significant amount of time has passed while you were on autopilot and you can’t remember any details in between?

MORE: Don’t Use Only Your Strengths | Work Smarter, Not Harder | Why We Risk Change | Learn to Embrace Failure | What Would Make You Happy? | Do You Have a Goal or Just a Speed?
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In the beginning, when I was driving back and forth between Austin and Arlington when Michaelle was earning her Ph.D., I found that there were times when my mind would get immersed in a topic and when I came back to the present, I might have driven between 50 and 100 miles. I couldn’t remember passing through cities. I did make the drive often, so the road was familiar, but what a scary thought that I was driving a death machine at 70 miles an hour on a crowded freeway and had no recollection of my navigation for such a long distance.
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Don’t Use Only Your Strengths

Sometimes it’s better to focus on technique.

By Bill Reeb

“Invest in loss” is a technique that helps us expand our knowledge and ability by setting our ego aside so that we can learn how to work better and get better. With invest-in-loss, the focus is on improving; whether you win or lose, whether you look bad or like a pro, whether you are embarrassed or held up as an example, the key is to improve.

MORE: Work Smarter, Not Harder | Stop Ignoring Opportunities Right in Front of You | What a Pro Knows | Don’t Let Opportunities Become Detours | What Are You Giving Priority?
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Don’t confuse investing in loss with “give up and don’t care.” These two phrases have nothing in common. While investing in loss still means you are trying, you are not restricting yourself to those approaches that give you the best chance of “winning.”
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