What Al Capone Said about Taxes – Before His Conviction

More tax humor for Busy Season.

Collected, curated and refined by Robert E. McKenzie. Enjoy!

 

  • "They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."

– Al Capone: Before he was convicted of tax evasion.

  • Sixty-four percent of women attorneys think that tax lawyers make undesirable dates.

– Daniel Dolan

  • "The best things in life are tax-free."

– Joseph Bonkowski

  • "If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck."

– Jeff Foxworthy

 

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A CPA Goes into a Pet Shop to Buy a Parrot…

A little tax humor for Busy Season, as collected, curated and refined by Robert E. McKenzie. Enjoy!

  • It’s not that we can’t fill out a simple tax return. The problem is that in so many cases, a simple tax return simply doesn’t exist.

– Anderson Independent Mail, 1-25-12

  • Love, sex, and the I.R.S are three things that will always be with us.

– Dave Howell, The Morning Call, 3-30-15

  • It’s always sunny the day after tax season, regardless of the weather.

– Kurt Schneider, CPA 4-20-17

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A Little Tax Humor

Portrait of a young laughing businessman with tablet computer in officeTake a break for a few minutes.

Editor's Note: Every tax season for the last umpteen years, Robert E. McKenzie, a tax lawyer at  Arnstein & Lehr in Chicago, has made a tradition of sharing his carefully curated collection of tax jokes. Here are a few of his latest. Enjoy!

By Robert E. McKenzie 

1) "Three things are certain in life. Death and taxes are two of them. The third is tax fraud." – Matt Pearce, LA Times, April 19, 2016

 

MORE: How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

2) "I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world. Nobody knows more about taxes." – Donald Trump during 2016 campaign

3) "Anonymous just hacked Trump's tax returns. Unfortunately, like Trump's hands, the numbers are tiny and impossible to make out." – Michael R. Burch

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How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 ... and more tax season humor.

Every tax season for the last umpteen years, Robert E. McKenzie, a tax lawyer at  Arnstein & Lehr in Chicago, has made a tradition of sharing his carefully curated collection of tax jokes. Here are a few of his latest. Enjoy!

Q: How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the light bulb really gets screwed.
-- From Garrison Keillor’s ‘Pretty Good Joke Book’

IRS MOTTO: "We're not happy until you're not happy!"

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