- “We picked the wrong day for April Fools. I would have chosen April 15.” – Steve Maple, 3-27-09
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- “Today is April 1, April Fools’ Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don’t confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.” – Jay Leno
- “America. Land of opportunity. Everybody can owe the government.” – Cindy Adams, NY Post, 3-29-09
- “The end of March brings up the beginning of April: Tax time. America has the highest standard of living in the world. Unfortunately, we can no longer afford it.” – Cindy Adams, NY Post, 3-29-09
- “The IRS has turned the American people into the largest group of liars in the history of history.” – Harold Harmon, Durant Daily Democrat 4-12-09
THEY COME ON APRIL 15TH DEAR
- A final-year accounting student sees his buddy ride past on a new bicycle. So he stops his friend and quizzes him about the origin of the bike. “The funniest thing happened the other day,” the friend begins, “this first-year student is pushing her bike past me, when suddenly she stops, takes off all her clothes and tells me to take what I want!” To which the first accounting student replies, “Good choice, the clothes would not have fit anyway!”
- A 54-year-old accountant left a letter for his wife one evening that read, “Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18-year-old secretary.”
- An accountant tries horseback riding: “Yesterday I had a near-death experience that has changed me forever. I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it.”